I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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