Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
