She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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