So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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