i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
someone owes me an orgasm
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
