your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Sacagawea was the original milf.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
