She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
