she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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