We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
