SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
