if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
