CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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