I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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