I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
