when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
