he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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