READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
