a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
