his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
