My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
