Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said âEat Freshâ while his GF was with him. FML
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
