Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
And then he peed in my hair
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
