Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
