Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
