ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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