Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
