Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
