1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just tell him i said nine months
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
