Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
