Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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