so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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