it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
