If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
