I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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