i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
