Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
