I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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