Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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