it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
