I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
