Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I am one with the molecules
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
