i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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