Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
