You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
