Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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