I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
