so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Shame - the story of my life.
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