so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
