Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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