Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
