Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
