I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
